HOPELESS AWARENESS

 

“You are called upon to be aware.”

“Real change will come when it is brought about, not by your ego, but by reality.  Awareness releases reality to change you.”

Anthony de Mello – AWARENESS … THE PERILS AND OPPORTUNITIES OF REALITY excerpts from “Hidden Agenda’s” talk. 

I walked to my mailbox this afternoon, hopeful that I might find something worthwhile in the elevated box by the road.  And as I walked, I slipped.  This time of year, walking can be treacherous if you don’t pay attention, for friction free ice seems to cover everything.  The ice however remained hidden under a fresh coating of clean white snow that fell from the sky and seemed to freshen things up. 

Fortunately for me, I knew there would be ice under the snow.  I also learned a lesson (at least for today) from a walk I shared with a friend last week.  My friend stepped on to some ice as we ventured out on the walk, that he was not aware of, and he slipped and fell, hitting the ground with a thud.  Fortunately, he broke no bones in his collision with the earth.  So, with this awareness in mind, I took small deliberate steps as I walked the snow- and ice-covered path to my mail box, and when my foot slipped, my built in navigation system made appropriate adjustments and was able to kept me upright, and on my path to the mail box, still clinging to hope to find something useful in my daily routine of checking the mailbox. 

Upon reaching the curb, I waited for a woman driving a BMW SUV to drive past, as other lessons have taught me to look before I step onto the pavement to avoid getting hit by a car (and I also must confess to being a skeptic in trusting the latest build in navigation devices controlled by Artificial Intelligence).  As I watched the SUV drive off to the west, I opened the door to my mailbox, only to be greeted by a dark, empty interior.  Today, like most was another mail less day. 

I am not sure why I cling to hope of good tidings from the mailbox, for most days bring nothing, with occasional bills, and now and then some advertising - the mostly junk mail.  One of the most common sources of junk mail comes from various agents of insurance, the folks who profit from accidents – the slips, the falls, the crashes, the storms, the fires, the floods, and even the deaths that the damages may cause.   Their claims attempt to make the damages seem like not such a bad thing.  They seem to want me to feel hopeful, despite all the accidents waiting to get me. 

Although I do succumb to the offers of hope, and have taken advantage of many of my own “accidents” to seek compensation from the agencies and their insurances, it seems to me that in most cases it makes more sense to depend more on my awareness, for assurances that I will be ok, and attempt to steer clear of accidents, at least for today.  With that I returned on the perilous trip across the ice-covered paths leading me back to the house, empty handed, but more aware that if given the choice between hope or awareness, I pick awareness.