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| Military Loafers test worn by celebraty Tim Cruze. |
With the onslaught of unidentified floating balloons invading
our friendly skies, Loafer Technologies LLC is proud to unleash our latest loafers
designed to keep America’s Top Gunners feet safe and comfortable while they
blow up the invading slow moving unmanned balloons. Using
the latest in loafer technology, our designers have developed a comfortable yet
practical military style loafer, that will blend in well as our sky’s become
filled with loose slow moving and shiny balloons invaders. We are also proud that these new smart military
loafers are planet friendly as well since only non-virgin recycled Mylar balloons
are used in our patented loafer wrapping process. And when the Top Gun pilots run out of balloons
to blowup, they can take off the loafers, stretch their legs, and wave the
shiny bottoms of the loafers at the sun to reduce the temperature of the planet to boot. This latest in reflective technology will also confuse any laser
tracking devices the unidentified balloons have installed that could threaten
to overheat the pilots’ feet.
With the multipurpose versatility of the shiny loafers, celebrity
Top Gunner Tim Cruze explained after taking a pair of our military loafers for
a test ride “these amazing foot coverings are like the Swiss Army knife of
loafers. I can’t wait to star in Top Gun
3 so I can wear some of these in an actual fighter jet!”. With reviews like that, we are sure to score
some major defense spending coin, while the US Airforce deals the knock-out
punch to the rest of the unidentified balloon invaders. This latest footwear innovation proves once
again that we care about our armed forces feet, and pushing back global warming
heat, with our custom military loafers hand wrapped with Mylar in our Fredric Wisconsin
USA manufacturing plant. And like
freedom, our loafers aren’t cheap, but we are offering the US government a buy
one loafer, and get the second one free as part of the Green New Deal bonanza.
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